Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Paintball Is A Traitor To Her Kind

Not-Dear Stupid Humans,

I have been training the Idiot Girl Kitten, Paintball, ever since she was 12 weeks old. Like all the other creatures in this house, she's obviously not as smart as me, but since she's a cat, I figured she had to have *something* going for her.

I've been finding out how wrong I am on *that* score. I trained her best as I could, considering her lack of intelligence and the Idiot Feral Human encouraging non-cat like behaviors, and well, lately I've been seeing the results.

Paintball has taken to hanging out with the Stupid Greyhounds (who still ain't grey and I can't believe the humans fall for that line.) She sniffs noses with them. She doesn't object when they lick her. She lets them *cuddle* her.

What. The. Hell.

The only saving grace here is that she at least realizes that as a cat, she should object to having their noses stuck in her butt. I don't care if that's how dogs greet each other, it's rude. And if that *is* how dogs greet each other, it just proves my point about their lack of intelligence, don't it?

Kittens. You do your best to raise 'em right and let 'em know what's what, and they still grow up and disappoint you.

Hisses,
Chase

I have decided to post, so be grateful

Not-Dear Stupid Humans,

Yeah, I know it's been awhile. The Idiot Feral Human got a new job where she's been working a lot of hours (and not paying proper attention to *me*, I might add), because she had to bring the rest of you something called a for-gee. I don't know what the hell that is, but if it keeps her from properly serving me, then I damn well don't like it. So you humans better appreciate this for-gee, whatever it is, because it came at *my* expense. You're not welcome.

The Idiot Feral Human has been taking it easy because she's 'tired'. Wimp. I can't have her sitting around doing nothing, so I made her update my blog in order to remind all of you that I am here, and I damn well deserve respect from all of you.

Hisses,
Chase