How to ruin the human's date made easy (special letter to two greyhounds out there)

Not-dear Coffee and Daytona (two greyhounds who live with some other idiot human, and blessedly not here),

The Idiot Feral Human has reported how you two have wrecked *your* idiot human's dates, and all the effort you put into making sure your idiot human doesn't breed.

Amateurs.

Lemme tell you how *I* wrecked a date the Idiot Feral Human had.

I just went into the cabinet under the sink, pulled out a 'feminine product', and dropped it at the date's feet.

Idiot Feral Human turns bright red, and idiot male human trying to date her is never seen again.

Too easy.

Hisses,
Chase