Sunday, November 1, 2009

What Halloween means to THIS black cat

Not-dear-Stupid Idiot Humans,

This is the day after this things you Idiot Humans call Halloween, which I call an excuse to stuff your faces with things you won't share with us. Whatever.

It was on this day, twelve years ago, that I got my Idiot Feral Human. I would've gotten her sooner, except for some stupid rule about not adopting black cats like me out during this Halloween thing. The Idiot Feral Human says it's due to some rumor about not-nice things being done to black cats this time of year. Whatever. It worked out for me--aside from her still not being properly trained all these years later, but there's only so much I can do with a dummy.

Because of this rumor, the Idiot Feral Human was warned about making sure I didn't go outside.

Lemme explain something--stupid as she is, I at least got her trained to feed me, clean out my litterbox, and serve as a pillow when I want extra warmth when I sleep. What the hell do I need to go outside for?

I guess I'll keep her. Not out of sentiment. I'm just too damn old to start training another Idiot Feral Human. But if she brings one more stupid greyhound in this house or another Idiot Feral Human to live here, then she's gonna be sorry.


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