Monday, September 28, 2009

Save the humans--A Special Letter From Me

Not-dear Idiot Human,

Normally I spend my time thinking about how much easier life would be if I didn't have to try and train the Idiot Feral Human, and I have entertained thoughts about doing her in, if not for those opposable thumbs of hers. Those opposable thumbs make it worth keeping a human around to serve you.

So on that note, my human is going out on October 4th to do what she calls a "Race For The Cure". What this means is that she will get out of my house and leave me in peace for a few hours while she walks around to raise money to cure a disease called breast cancer, which is known to affect 1 out of every 8 human women during their lifetimes.

Since human women are much more likely than human men to serve us cats (and I could say a lot on THAT subject, but the Idiot Feral Human has asked me to be nice for the sake of a good cause, and since she's been good this week, I'll indulge her), then obviously it's worth saving them. So I will whole-heartedly back the Idiot Feral Human (not to mention shove her fat ass out the front door) in doing this.

The Idiot Feral Human will be walking with another Idiot Human (though not a feral one, as this human was apparently raised and properly trained by cats) who has survived the disease (which means she is available to serve a cat again--any takers? I recommend this human highly.) They are hoping for donations from other humans in this. You can give them money at

If nothing else, it gets my Idiot Feral Human out of the house for a few hours so I can torment the stupid greyhounds.

Save the humans.


Has she smelled her feet lately?

Not-dear Idiot Feral Human,

As to your dimwitted assertation that my stalking your socks does not make me a mighty hunter.....have you smelled your feet lately?

'Nuff said.